Joaquin Phoenix, Oldies, and Enough Parking Violations to Clothe a Small Child

Hello everyone. Were officially second semester seniors (Most of the people reading this anyway)! Kick back, relax, and enjoy 2nd semester, its time to chill. On to my thoughts.

First off, look at the following list, and think about what all of these movies have in common. Ready? Go: Signs, Walk The Line, Gladiator, Hotel Rwanda, The Village. Can't think of it? You probably can, looking at the title. Joaquin Phoenix.

Great actor, with some impressive movies above. But now on to why he is the topic of conversation tonight. Joaquin Phoenix, accomplished actor, is giving up acting to pursue......... rapping. The picture above is the Phoenix pre-rapper stage. Before I show you the post-rapper stage, just prepare yourself, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Everything you thought about the world is about to get turned upside down. Are you ready? Here we go. 1...........2.............3..........GO.

Just kidding, that's just Dave Chappelle posing as Rick James. Here's the real photo.

Jesus Christ. I told you to prepare. What the hell is that? And what is that grey tuft of hair on the right side of the picture? How did he grow that beard? So many questions, so few answers. I don't know what hes drinking or what he's taking, but its too intense. On a side note, I think my mom has those same sunglasses. But looking at Joaquin, he might have just snuck in my house and taken them. Check under your beds before you go to sleep, Joaquin Phoenix is waiting for you. Here's the link to his rapping video: http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LieYeCudbQ8 watch it at your own risk. It's honestly horrible. I hope this is all a big joke, but I don't really get that feeling. Apparently he's making a documentary with Casey Afflack, who is related to him somehow. And P Diddy is supposedly producing his album, but that's also just a rumor. For all of our sakes, lets hope it stays a rumor. Joaquin: Go back to your strengths. Your a great actor, and a god awful rapper. Or let everyone know that this was just a joke. Even if it wasn't. Just say it was. Thanks brah. On to my next topic, concerning this man:Larry Whitfield. You probably don't know who he is, and you shouldn't. Why is he significant? He is being charged with first degree murder. Why? He literally scared an old woman to death. Whitfield had just tried to rob a bank in Gaston County, North Carolina, but was unsuccessful and fleeing on foot. Needing somewhere to hide, he went into the home of 79-year-old Mary Parnell. When he entered, he told the woman he wasn't going to hurt her, and he just needed somewhere to hide. And how does she respond? With a heart attack. Now this story really caught my eye. This guy is a scary dude. Look at him. If he ran into my house right now, I would cry. Literally weep. Just out of pure fear. I'm not 79 years old, so my heart would probably be okay. But Mrs. Parnell, on the other hand, is 79. And her heart was most definitely not okay. "Parnell's autopsy report said she had an enlarged heart, was overweight and had advanced liver disease, kidney disease, hypertension, heart disease and was a diabetic, all of which were decided to be secondary factors" (AOL news). That's also not a great combination of issues. Whitfield is facing life with parole. Now I don't really agree with the charge. Throwing the guy in jail for life because an extremely old woman with a ton of health problems has a heart attack from seeing your scary face? Little harsh. Some community service, maybe a year or two in the pen. Not life. I think a few years would stop Whitfield from ever scaring anyone to death again. But who knows.

Cute. On to the third topic. Parking violations. I am sure most of you have experienced at least one, since almost everyone in the grade has. Its an environmental concern how much paper the school uses on those yellow slips. Today, for a change (sarcasm), there was a large lack of parking spots in athletics. So, I had to make a choice. Pull out of GBN (not a sexual reference), thrust back into GBN (sexual reference), and park in THE CAGE. The cage, the walk of all walks, the trail of tears. An excruciating trek through all the elements. Kinda like the the aggro crag, all you GUTS fans from the 90's.
But seriously. The cage is an automatic 20 minute setback, plus a 20 minute addition to your ride home. So either go to the cage, or harmlessly make a new spot at the end of the row... Or park in CPA, where there's parking spots just waiting to be taken, but where we can't park because its "faculty parking" that they don't even use. So I made my own spot, and got slapped with yet another parking violation. I love how the slip says in huge, grossly bold letters: YOU ARE PARKED ILLEGALLY. I feel like a robot is telling me that over a loudspeaker. So, to summarize, the parking situation has been poorly run by the school, and something should change. There is no need for 500 handicapped spots. There is no need for random spots in every row to have lines through them. There's no need for vacant spots to just sit there next to the CPA. The deans have probably given out 500 parking violations. Don't they even think that's an absurd amount? It's a fallacy. Fix that shit up. Make love, not war. A sneak preview of the upcoming blog: a reflection on Manuary. 2 days left everyone. Were in the home stretch.

Summer Heights, Movie Recs, and Christopher Walken

Hey everyone. Wind chills hittin -25 or lower tomorrow, bundle your shit up (yeah you like that blue color? Just realized I can do that. Powerful.). That type of coldness doesn't mess around. My car's actually been frosting over on the inside, so i have to use the scraper inside my car and it looks dumb, and I end up with the shavings all over myself. Embarrassing. Alright, on to the first topic. Summer Heights High. For those who don't watch it, myself included, its that show with the Australian, or British, or whatever accents. I think everyone can say they've heard at least one person in the hall say "F*** you, miss!". Well guess what? F*** you right back. Every time I hear someone say that, something snaps inside me. I have seen one episode. Yeah, lets all bitch me out for judging it without even seeing the whole show. Make my day. Its not my type of humor. Its dumb, in my opinion. That's the last I'm going to say about the quality of the show, cuz I'm actually not going to be that ass who judges it without seeing it. I am, however, going to bitch out every person whose day revolves around saying "public schools are random" or something about the character Mr.G (I've seen one episode and I know the whole premise, quotes, main characters, everything you could ever want to know). Remember when Dane Cook became popular and then everyone started saying his jokes until they weren't funny anymore? Step in line, Summer Heights High. Just like every other indie/grass roots show/movie/anything, as it gains popularity, its fans become bigger and bigger douches. This show is at that level. I don't care if you like that show when I don't, but I do start to care when you run around quoting it all day long. So a little message to all you Summer Heights High fans: Tone that shit down. That is all. Thanks, Love Zach.

To my second topic, or list. I enjoyed compiling the top beards list last post, so I decided to keep up the list theme, and go with 3 movies you might not have seen but should see immediately.

In order, number 1, my favorite movie of all time, Almost Famous: Kate Hudson, Billy Crudup, Phillip Seymour Hoffman: If you love music, this movie will change your life. Directed by Cameron Crowe, who followed the Grateful Dead around as a journalist, this movie is based off of his life. Following the fictional band Stillwater (whose songs should be real cuz they rock) on tour, a young teenager opens himself to a whole new culture, and a whole new life. An amazing soundtrack, great performances, and just an overall phenomenal movie. See it. Now.

Number 2. Lucky Number Slevin: Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu: Josh Hartnett gets involved in a case of mistaken identity and becomes part of a crime situation between two crime bosses, "The Rabbi" and "The Boss". Great premise, tons of twists, a really interesting movie to watch.

Number 3, The Prestige: Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson: If you like magic, this movie is for you. Another movie with tons of twists and turns, the end will blow your mind. Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman are two rival magicians with a history of hatred. The duel to out do the other becomes deadly, and leads both magicians to the brink of insanity. Check it out.

Finally, to my man, Christopher Walken. I love your acting. Not because it's just flat out amazing. What I love about you is the fact that you take absolutely any role thrown at you. You are literally in every movie. Well, not literally, but you get the point. You aren't afraid to take an unusual or crazy role, because you just love what you do. I've made a list of my favorite Christopher Walken movies, out of the thousands to pick from. In no particular order: The Rundown, Click, Balls of Fury, Joe Dirt, Catch Me If You Can, Deer Hunter, Wayne's World 2, Kangaroo Jack, Wedding Crashers, and Blast From the Past. That's a powerful list, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. Thanks for your passion to be awesome at acting, Christopher. You rock.

Finally, a question for everyone... When playing monopoly, which monopoly is your favorite one to have? You can name the properties or the color.

Stay warm yall.

Six Degrees, Manuary, and Awkward Occurances

Howdy everyone. I should start postin more consistantly now that schools back in session. The school day fuels my random thoughts. Alright so lets start out with the play Six Degrees of Separation, by John Guare. The book brings up the theme of how people are connected and how small the world really is. If you look on facebook, they have a Six Degrees of Separation as well, which is pretty awesome. Anyways, I began thinking to myself how everyone is connected by so few people. The theory is that everyone can be connected to each other through six different people, i.e. me to the president or you to a remote person in some foreign country. In english we were asked to think about the most famous person you have encountered, and how many degrees they are away from you, and some pretty cool people came up. My personal favorite was my own, Sean Combs AKA P. Diddy. My mom knows him through work, therefore making me two degrees away from the mogul himself. Crazy. This theory made me think about all the random times you see someone you know in the most remote, obscure times. For example, on my plane to Missouri over winter break, a teacher I had in sixth grade was on the exact same flight. What are the odds that this teacher is going to Missouri at the exact same time on the exact same day that I am? The answer is not very good. Another example. My friend travelled to Argentina over winter break, and he was telling me how one day when he and his family went to a bed and breakfast in an extremely remote area, and who does he see sitting down? One of our other friends from school. Unbelieveable. It truely is a small world out there.

On to the second topic of the night, Manuary. For those of you who don't know, Manuary is a chance for the real man in each of us to shine through. Ditch the razors, and let the burliness come out. I am partipating in Manuary, and I urge you to as well. Its a very liberating experience. (Girls, I urge you not to participate in Manuary. Please.) My Manuary idealologies have led me to create a list of the greatest beards of all time. Feel free to drop a comment with anyone i leave off.

In no particular order...

Hagrid from Harry Potter: That thing is just impressive. He has embraced the idea of being a man, and taken it to a whole. notha. level.

ZZ Top band members: These guys are legends not only for their music, but for their crazy beards. A must have on any beard list. Honorable mention: Kansas.

Charles Darwin: Not only was this guy badass for his evolution theories, but for his manliness as well. Touche, Charles.

Adrian Grenier AKA Vince from Entourage on beach: This beard made me want to go on an island and grow a beard. The women he gets with that thing are ridiculous.

Blackbeard the famous pirate: I dunno why im throwin this one on there, but his name has beard in it, so he was probably legit.

Kimbo Slice: Unbelieveable beard. The shaved head also makes it look even bigger then it is, if thats possible. He reminds me of Zeus but black. Scary. Look at his chest hair. Kinda weird. Shave that shit.

I might add to this later, but for now that should do.

My last section is about awkward occurances. I'm talking about like things with people you don't know in the hall, not awkward moments with friends. For example, at Chipotle today, I was casually walking up to refill my water, because my mouth was on fire(medium my ass). Yeah im a pussy with hot stuff, but thats neither here nor there. Anyways, i'm strollin up, minding my own business, and this guy literally walks the exact same path im taking towards me. He could have gone left. He could have gone right. Instead, he walks right into me, and we have to do that thing that everyone hates where you try to go left but then he's trying to go that same way and you look like your trying to fake each other out, but really your just trying to get to a simple destination: around the person. Another awkward situation: Someone you haven't talk to in a really long time, and don't really want to talk to, even an ex-girlfriend or enemy in the hall. Everytime I see one of these people that I just absolutely don't want to talk to, it's like everyone possibly coming my way just turns around so its just me and that person. Awkward. Finally, my last awkward moment, trying to give tips to a person at a place like baskin robbins. This was adressed in Seinfeld, but it happened to me the other day and it was exactly like on the show. You get your change back, and you want to make sure that the person sees you put the money in the tip jar, so you can get a little gratification out of it. But right when you drop the money in the jar, the person suddenly has the desire to look anywhere but that tip jar. Then, after you walk away, the person gives you a glare for not tipping. Another situation similar to that, when you get a few pennies or a small amount of change back, and you put it right in the tip jar. The person gives you the look, saying "thanks asshole for the pennies. Me and my family will just go fuck ourselves and not eat tonight". Maybe i just get that vibe. Thats all folks. Another one soon. Love you.